If I were you..yea right.

As your (insert adjective here:  ‘best’   ‘only’   ‘coolest’… whatever) friend, I’d like to offer some advice:  I’d dislodge that sofa from my butt and roll out to see Walking Spanish tonight at the Legendary Torch Club.  They are so hot.  And the chicks dig ’em.  Hint, hint. Don’t worry, pookie. That stinky-ass sofa’ll be there when you get home ..tomorrow afternoon.  (You can thank me later.)

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